A psychologist named George Levinger developed a theory to explain the life cycle of social relationships. It is called the ABC(DE)s of Friendships and Relationships. Can we apply its principles even with people on extreme opposites of temperament or belief?
The initial stage of Levinger’s theory is A-attraction. Why are we drawn to another individual? Sometimes it is about the need to have friends and belong to a group. We seek out individuals who think like us and look like us; who share similar interests; we are matched by dating apps, belong to the same gaming cohorts, follow the same social media influencers; or perhaps they are the individuals who share our social circle and are introduced by a mutual friend. However that initial meeting comes about, we go from being strangers to the first threads of attraction.
B-building is the next stage. Individuals use a variety of opening lines or small talk which vary depending on the type of setting, work or public or private. A friendly glance and a cheerful greeting may be sufficient to determine whether the attraction is reciprocal. Contrary to popular belief, not every social interaction needs to be an audition for a spouse. The building stage is true whether the intention is to develop a business network, expand a social circle, or begin an intimate relationship.
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