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Writer's pictureDé Bryant, Ph.D.

The ABC(DE)s of Relationships Part-- III: Deterioration and Ending

D-deterioration stage of Levinger’s theory of friendships and relationships is certainly not inevitable. Many factors can reverse or accelerate deterioration, some active and others passive, but all a matter of choice. As in coping with other sources of stress, doing nothing is still a choice. Pretending conflicts do not exist allows extreme differences to take on more power than they would if faced directly.


E-ending stage can be active (decisive ending) or passive (“ghosting”). The former will allow for greater personal growth than the latter. Endings are not always a bad thing – parting ways does not mean that time together disappears nor that the individual was less significant. We are the sum total of the people we have loved and who have been instrumental in our lives.

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